Sophie Griebel regretted her gender transition and made a U-turn
11-03-2025
Christian Life
Debora Spiekermann, IMABE
A protester covered by a flag that vindicates the rights of the transgender community takes part in a rally on the occasion of the International Women's Day in Oviedo, Spain. Photo EPA, Eloy Alonso
Christian Life
Sophie Griebel was never questioned when she said she wanted to become a boy. Looking back, she thinks this was a huge mistake. Years after her transition, she discovered she had another problem. For this reason, she ‘returned’ to her original gender, she explains in an interview.
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Many people who previously identified as transgender return to their biological gender. Sophie Griebel also spent several years of her life “living as a man”. She is now in harmony with her original gender.
Today, she works as a coach. In the run-up to #DetransitionAwarenessDay on 12 March, she speaks in an IMABE interview about the fears of those affected, false hopes and the path to self-acceptance.
You are a counsellor, and, among other things, you look after young people who do not feel comfortable in their own gender and are under a great deal of psychological strain. You are familiar with this situation from your own experience. How come you rejected your own femininity and wanted to become a man?
Sophie Griebel: “In retrospect, I can say that it was more of a decision than an “I realised it”. At the age of 18 or 19, I was suffering a lot. I had suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety disorders. When I discovered transsexuality, I wondered whether I had always been a boy.
In fact, in many areas, I was more stereotypically male as a child. So, it was clear to me that the reason for my problems was because I am transsexual. Not questioning this decision at all was one of my biggest mistakes.”
You had a difficult childhood. Were there personal experiences that influenced your desire for gender reassignment surgery?
“The fact that I experienced a lot of violence, abuse and rape within my family played a major role in this.
When you experience so much violence at these levels, you feel a great deal of shame and guilt. Especially towards your gender because you project the guilt onto your own gender. You think you’re experiencing all this because you’re a girl.
My mother was also a victim of psychological violence. It was a generational issue for us.
So, I didn’t have an attractive female role model. If you’re always exposed to the idea that a woman is a victim in society and in your immediate environment, then you no longer want to assume that gender.
So the logical conclusion is to stop being a woman and simply change your body.”
Statistics in Western countries show a huge increase in treatments for young people who want to change their gender. Why do so many young people today have problems with their gender?
“Between the ages of four and six, children slowly begin to identify with their gender role. At this age, it is most important that they have appealing role models of their own gender. If these role models are not appealing, then there is a very real danger that children will begin to reject their own gender.
If you have a mother who is under immense pressure, for example, who suffers from anxiety and stress and may be oppressed by a controlling man, then being a woman is not presented to you in an appealing way. That is why a child may want to escape the perceived role of his or her own body.
Often, these children have problems with feelings of guilt and shame because they have not received the appreciation they needed for their existence, for their gender, frequently due to neglect.”
Can you give us an example from your work?
“I recently accompanied a 14-year-old boy who wanted to become a girl. And I simply asked: “Could it be that you are very afraid of not meeting the expectations of your gender role?” Then the child said: “Yes, I am so afraid of that.” And then I asked: “Are you sometimes ashamed of being a boy?” And he also said yes to that.
I documented all of this. The mother told me that the therapist wanted to start the hormone blockers immediately.”
How should we deal with young people who express a desire for sex change? Parents are often very insecure, and there is a certain amount of pressure. Studies have shown that in 80 to 90 per cent of cases, this desire disappears on its own.
“These children lack emotional stability and the opportunity to develop freely. They also lack a deep connection to their parents, which is a basic requirement for a child’s healthy development.
Expectations of masculinity and femininity are still very much present. People say that everything has become much freer. Yes, that may be, but emotionally it is not. One example of this is the story of a boy I am supporting. He told me that he started crying one day at school and was laughed at by his friends. Since then, he has become withdrawn and said, “I just never wanted to cry again.” Now he thinks, “Maybe as a girl, I will have the opportunity to cry.”
It is, therefore, important to talk about feelings with children. You should encourage the child and say: “It doesn’t matter whether you have these or those talents as a boy or not. Nevertheless, you can develop and feel comfortable in your body. And you are still a boy.”
If a child is ashamed of being a boy or a girl, it has nothing to do with being in the wrong body. You have to sit down with the child and analyse these feelings until you get to the root of the problem. Very often, the cause can be found in family relationships.”
Researchers have shown that children who wish to change their gender often suffer from other mental illnesses. Can you confirm this from your experience?
“Absolutely. No one is looking to see if the children suffer from dissociation or other personality disorders, and whether these are possibly the cause of the rejection of their gender. But a great many of those treated for transgender issues actually suffer from anxiety disorders, depression, borderline personality disorder, autism or ADHD.
The focus is on finding solutions by changing gender identity. However, all the actual stress disorders are marginalised because they are not treated and “compensated” with hormonal or surgical treatment. This basically contributes to normalising the trauma of these children. Thinking that this is the solution to transgender problems is looking away from the real causes.”
What specific help can one offer, including in his or her immediate environment, especially as a parent? How can he or she talk to his or her child?
“As a parent, I would not respond to the child’s statements regarding transgender. I always advise parents not to address the child by the desired name. It is not a solution to look for the next possible appointment with an endocrinologist if the actual causes have not been treated.
The underlying psychological problems initially have nothing to do with gender per se but with emotional instability. And emotional stability cannot be achieved through gender reassignment.
I also advise parents to spend time with their children and reflect on their own childhood. If you were abused as a child, there is a high probability that you will transfer similar patterns to your child.”
In Germany, Austria and Switzerland, for example, the trans-affirmative method is still recommended in the newly developed guidelines, despite recent scientific findings. That means that the newly declared gender of children and adolescents should always be therapeutically, medically and later also surgically confirmed (“affirmed”). Are you surprised by that? Countries like Sweden, Finland, Great Britain, and France are now taking a different approach in which psychotherapy is a priority.
“I don’t understand how this treatment can still be allowed. Being so young, children don’t yet have the ability to find their true selves, may have stress at home, and are very sensitive and insecure. To allow this child to go to the registry office at 14 and change their name and gender entry, as is the case in Germany since November 2024, is absolutely irresponsible, in my opinion.
But what is much more devastating is when your body is manipulated with hormones or even surgery at such a young age. You are not self-determined if you become dependent on hormones for life that you don’t really need.”
To allow a child to go to the registry office and change their gender entry, is absolutely irresponsible.
You identified as a man for a while and are now once again in harmony with your biological gender as a woman. What was the key experience that made you realise that gender transition was not the solution to your problems?
“When I found out that my brother had also been raped, that was an absolute turning point for me. I realised that it wasn’t because of my gender that traumatic things had happened to me.
Then, my intense journey through the transgenerational traumas began. I realised that my body was not to blame for my negative experiences. And so I was able to find more of myself.”
More and more young people are expressing disappointment after transgender treatment. The path to one’s original gender is often hard because those affected encounter a lack of understanding. In addition, irreversible damage persists. What was your path? What advice do you have for people who want to take the detransitioning path?
“It wasn’t particularly difficult for me to go back because I was in Africa at the time. If I had stayed in my usual environment, it would have been more difficult. I grew my hair back and started wearing a bit of make-up again, just to see what I liked. And that’s how I was able to slowly accept my body again.
Perhaps it helps to simply leave your familiar environment if possible because you feel freer without the critical gaze of others.”
This article was translated by CNE.news and published earlier on the website of the Bioethics Institute IMABE (Austria) on February 19, 2025.
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