I wanted to be a boy

Playing with Barbies or wearing pretty dresses – nothing seemed duller for Franziska Anderssohn as a child. She preferred romping with her two brothers, climbing trees and playing soccer. She dressed in boy's clothes and was determined to keep her hair short. Because her parents didn't grant her this wish, she put chewing gum in her hair so that her long mane had to be shaved off.

At age four, she decided she wanted to be a boy. "My parents thought it was just a phase," says the now 26-year-old. She grew up in a Catholic environment and experienced that women could not perform certain services. In addition, she was repeatedly sexually assaulted by women in her childhood. That solidified her negative image of the female sex.

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Identity

Her playmates perceived Franziska as male. "I thought, now I'm right. But deep down, there was an emptiness." She couldn't talk about these feelings with her parents.

When Franziska started fourth grade, her classmates realised she was not a boy and excluded her. She then sought contact with girls of the same age. "But there, I bumped into a wall as well. I was just different."

Her insecurity increased with puberty: "I hated my curves. That's why I did a lot of sport." She slipped into an eating disorder - and got to a point where she didn't know how to continue her life. "That's when I remembered the Christian holiday camps I attended as a kid." She signed up for a Word of Life (WDL) camp.

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Jesus brought freedom

During her free time, she met people authentically living their Christian life. "Some of them had real struggles and talked about it openly." One day, away from the hustle and bustle, the then 17-year-old sat down on a bench and prayed: "God, if You really exist, then show Yourself to me." Suddenly she felt like Jesus was sitting next to her. "He looked me in the eye and said, 'Franzi, I love you. And not just a little bit, but truly.'" She was then filled with great freedom and deep peace. "For the first time in my life, I felt accepted."

A few days later, an acquaintance invited her to a free church. From then on, one of the pastors met with her every Tuesday morning before school for Bible reading and prayer. "It was so valuable that he invested in me. Yet, the battle against the eating disorder lasted for years."

Today she loves discovering her femininity with Jesus and discovering what it means to be created in His image. She now works full-time as a youth worker at the Free Church ICF Munich. "Even teenagers have so many questions. The world offers them answers that only confuse them." She sees it all the more as her mission to show young people how valuable they are in God's eyes.

This article was translated by CNE.news and previously published by the German Christian press agency IDEA on June 26th, 2023.