How God transforms us through parenting
Photo Canva.com, AFP, Michaela Stache
Christian Life
As Christian parents, we are always busy and concerned with shaping our children’s character and guiding them in their spiritual growth. However, we less often consider how the Lord uses our children’s presence to shape and refine our own character.
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As a mother, I realise that parenting is perhaps the area of life that most exposes our weaknesses and highlights aspects of our character that still need to be moulded by the Holy Spirit.
First and foremost, it is easy to believe that everything about parenting depends entirely on us—that we are in full control. In a sense, this is true. Raising children calls us to responsibility, yet too often, we fall into the trap of over-control and self-reliance.
We forget that the true calling is not about executing everything flawlessly but honouring God through our parenting.
We carefully select the best schools or educational plans, ensure they play sports, eat healthily, sleep well, have everything they need, attend church, and learn about God.
Yet, sometimes, all these efforts feel like a to-do list to complete — an obstacle course in pursuit of the best possible performance. We forget that the true calling is not about executing everything flawlessly to earn some form of Christian merit but about honouring God through our parenting.
Intentions
In this sense, parenting reveals our tendency to rely on ourselves rather than on God, to embrace self-sufficiency, and even to believe in a gospel of merit and good works. We quickly seek help from doctors, experts, teachers, and psychologists —which is valuable— but how often do we turn to God, recognising that everything depends on Him, is for Him, and is accomplished by Him? I find myself forgetting this all too often.
Moreover, it is easy to work on character development when comparing ourselves to other adults or when striving to be good Christians in public settings. Yet, in the daily realities of parenting, we face children who throw tantrums, complain, disobey, disrupt our well-laid plans, and react unpredictably to our best intentions. What emerges from our hearts in these moments is a true reflection of how deeply we are allowing the fruits of the Spirit to mature in our lives.
For me, this realisation comes frequently! Anger, frustration, impatience, and discouragement are just some of the reactions that remind me of how far I still have to go in my sanctification journey.
By God’s grace, in Christ, we are already forgiven and victorious. Our worth does not lie in how well we control our reactions to yet another tantrum but in our ability to ask for forgiveness, be corrected by God’s Word, and allow Him to guide us in our sanctification — even through the challenges of parenting.
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