Mother's column – How can we shape children as Christians of the future?


Christian Life

Edit Frivaldszky, CNE.news

Girls can become anything they want, but they have to keep in mind their fertility window. Photo EPA, Patrick Kovarik

As parents, we are responsible for helping our children choose the right path for their future. Columnist Edit realises that it is not always easy to prepare children to take over.

I have to admit, my children are growing up faster than I thought. Our first born is off to university, and the second must start to decide about what to do next. But what can we say to them in a world where it takes 5-7 years to get a degree, while technology is advancing at an astonishing pace in almost every field? By the time they graduate from college or university, the skills acquired in the first few years will be irrelevant.

In the last two years of secondary school, Hungarian children already have to opt for a major. Around the age of 16, they should know whether they want to pursue a career in medicine, law, engineering, humanities or something else. Schools are trying to help them choose a career, and they may bring in a vet or a lawyer –those parents who have time– but that doesn't guarantee that our children will know what a privacy engineer or a data analyst actually does.


What is the best way to help in this situation? I am still looking for the answer. Like all parents, I consider my children to be above average. I'm sure they'll be able to fit in anywhere. But the issue of career choice is a tough one. Even though research says that people keep learning over their whole life, they are expected already at the age of 18, to be able to decide on a career that will determine the rest of their lives. That is why we, as parents, don't force them into any kind of career.

Girls are challenged by certain time limits in their life. Their fertility window determines their possibilities to a certain extent. Within two decades, they should be able to choose a partner, start a family, get a degree, and build an existence. It's as if between the ages of 20 and 40, people are supposed to achieve everything, and then at 40, a mid-life crisis blows up everything they've built up. This is not something I want to see in my children's lives.

There is no prescription for this. Here's what we do in our small family: we regard each child as a special gift from God, with unique talents. We help them find their path accordingly, so that at the very least the direction matches their tailored qualities and abilities, and they have the freedom to switch. For it is easy for their plans to take a different direction when they leave the classroom, away from the daily pressures of the busy pace of school life. They have to explore the world and find out what God's plan for them is. Thirty years from now, we will see if our method worked.



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