Mother's Column – What is the best New Year's resolution of a Christian mum?
Pig figurines are on display at a stand at the New Year's market in Gyor, Hungary. Often, Hungarians eat roasted pig on New Years' Eve as some believe that this will bring luck. Photo EPA, Csaba Krizsan
Christian Life
I'm probably over halfway through my life, so my perspectives on New Year resolutions are changing. It's not so much about resolutions anymore, but about thanksgiving.
The new year is indeed a new beginning, but instead of having a to-do list, I'm ready to take on opportunities. I am thankful for the stories I've lived and the people I've met in the past year. I'm taking stock of accomplishments at work, improvements to our home, looking through photos of memories from last year to prepare myself for the new year's new friends, new accomplishments and improvements.
No longer do I promise myself to be patient with the kids, to lose 6 pounds, to be 100% kind to my family and all my neighbours all the time. In the past, I often failed in my attempts, keeping those kinds of promises.
It's much easier to be patient with the kids, lose a few pounds or be nice to my husband if I don't see them as tasks, but try to incorporate them into my life. And when I do, I'm glad I was able to do it.
Expectations
Regarding my nearest and dearest, I try to keep the performance expectations low not to make them the primary concern. They are important, but not so much as they used to be.
In fact, performance at school is less and less reflective of the knowledge that will be needed in 20 years' time, and I never liked using numbers (grades) to judge children. I realised that the lists of the best schools is based on the academic performance, not the quality of the community or the human relations among the students. Perhaps I don't need to explain in detail to my fellow parents that in times when our kids have access to all the information on the web with a few swipes, it would be more appropriate for them to build their offline world.
Our goal in raising children (now) is not to improve their grades, but to help them find themselves on the path God is calling them to. Have a relationship with God, know yourself and appreciate who you are! To convey this message is far more difficult than helping with the chemistry or physics homework. Maybe, to begin with, I and my fellow parents should have a (stronger) relationship with God, know ourselves better and appreciate who we are. That way, we can find the path God is calling us to, can't we? Then we can lead our children to where they are supposed to be.
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