Mother’s column – Let society help mothers with a safety net


Christian Life

Edit Frivaldszky, CNE.news

Mother with newborn. Photo AFP, Jay Directo

Eighteen years ago, I was working for a large international company. We only talked with colleagues during lunch breaks, so there were few friendships in the workplace. Still, one of the girls and I sometimes met in church on Sundays, after which we spent our lunch breaks together.

My friend knew that I was conscious of my body. She knew that I noticed when I was fertile and when I was not. That’s why she called me on a Saturday afternoon...

She broke up with her boyfriend, but they had a “goodbye get-together” before he left. And it was uncertain whether or not she was pregnant as a result.

That was the gist of her reason to call me. But what could I have done other than listen? We talked about the possible outcomes of the situation, especially how she could keep this baby.

She called me several times over a few days, but then she disappeared. By that time, she had left the job.


Some weeks later, she called again, and told me she had gone for an abortion and was being wheeled into the operating theatre, when she suddenly decided to have this baby. She didn’t know the future, but she didn’t want to get rid of it. She put her clothes back on and went home.

When the baby was born, I visited them in the hospital. She thanked me twice for being the mother of the baby. I didn’t do anything special. I listened and stood by her when she needed someone (or anyone). Today, she has a son in his teens and can’t even remember the days of hesitating about his life.


The WHO reports that 73 million abortions are performed globally every year. They are already there, conceived, developing under their mother’s heart, usually ready to grow bigger and bigger. At 12 weeks (when most of the operations occur), all their parts have been developed. The bond between mother and child is the strongest human bond, and deliberately tearing it cannot be without consequences... 73 million times globally every year.

Let’s consider the mother and her child as a single unit (preferably with the father present near them). The approach to abortion takes on a completely different context. A safety net must be put around the mother so that she can say yes to the life she is about to give birth to. This safety net is the family. And if the family is not functioning correctly, we –friends, relatives and members of society– must fill that gap.

I can’t understand how some groups –even nations– can celebrate something that destroys the most vital human bond. This practice must come to an end for the welfare of us all.



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