Why our shortcomings are a gift
Photo Unsplash, Xavier Mouton Photographie
Christian Life
As a mother, I often find myself repeating to myself, "I can't do this", "I can't be a good mother", "I'm weak at that": I'm not enough!"
It is a feeling I am sure I share with many mothers. The responsibility of being a parent is enormous. You have to know how to be a cook, an artist, a teacher, an educator, a nurse, you have to be able to deal with millions of pieces of paper and keep up to date in all these areas.
You also have to be patient, loving, determined, always in a good mood and able to empathise with children of different temperaments and characters.
Trauma
Of course, all this can make you say, "I'm not good enough!"
When we feel weak as parents, the first feeling is guilt.
Especially in the younger generation, the rhetoric of trauma because of parental behaviour is widespread. And new parents have a kind of widespread fear of leaving trauma in their children's lives because of their own incompetence and failure.
As Christian mothers, we sometimes try to be better parents than those without faith. This is very honourable, but often we miss the point and start making lists:
- Have the character of Christ
- Teach the children the Word of God
- Make them love the Church
- Make them love creation
It just becomes a longer list of commitments that still and increasingly leads us to say, "I'm not enough".
Natural
What we need instead, as Christian mothers, is to know that "not enough" is a natural, normal condition and that it is OK to admit it!
As human beings, we are created with limitations. And even more so after the fall, since sin undermines our ability to be "enough" in every area.
The Bible does not speak of super-competent parents who are able to excel in every area of life and who will surely leave no trauma in their children's lives. The Bible speaks of (all) weak and broken people who can run to Christ and say, "I am not enough, but You are".
We can choose to live with the frustration of our incapacities, or we can choose to see them as an opportunity to give everything back to Christ and to see how He alone can take all the burdens and mend the lives of those who entrust themselves to Him.
To entrust our shortcomings to Him is to recognise that the present and future well-being of our children does not depend entirely on us and that we can entrust it to Him.
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