Concerning Kids – How to grow integrity in a lying world
Children whispering to each other. Photo Unsplash
Christian Life
The world is full of fake news. And children start lying at young age already. Christians are obliged to set an example of integrity in this dark world, Anna Gnatyshyna argues.
Whatever your perspective on the goodness of a child’s heart is, you will probably agree that we often need to correct something that we didn’t teach them to do.
We teach them about obedience, kindness, asking forgiveness and also saying the truth. When we catch a kid lying, we have to deal with that as kids are always looking for ways to sneak out.
Why children tell lies
Kids lie in different cases, and it is not only because they want to avoid the consequences. So why do they usually lie? For 2–5-year-olds it can be quite natural, as they have a vivid imagination. They live in their fantasy world. Therefore, sometimes, they cannot tell a difference between the reality and their imagination. However, the adults still should correct them.
Another reason for lying for older kids is their fear of adults’ emotions, as they don’t know what to expect in case they tell the truth. Some adults start shouting or they overreact, therefore kids feel like they need to avoid the outcomes of the conversation. I remember how my mom always told me, “Anna, I won’t be angry, and I won’t shout, please tell the me truth about what happened”. She used to say that each time we had unpleasant conversation about something I did not want to talk about. That phrase helped me to come out in truth.
From Christian perspective we should not deal with the lying as the action only. We might tell the child, “Don’t lie” or just, “Stop lying”. But our teaching makes little sense in the world where everybody’s lying. The key question is why the child should not lie. Teaching about God’s character and our desire to have pure hearts should show kids the perspective of the big picture of our lives and the central place of God in it.
However, I should also mention that it is critical for ourselves to be true to what we teach kids. Do kids know me as the woman who keeps her word and tells the truth? Am I a good example of my faith and beliefs? Am I a person of integrity? We might think that kids won’t see when we are sneaky and avoid the difficult questions. But that would be a grave mistake.
Emotions
We can act righteously in public, like in church or at work. But at home we feel relaxed, and we lose our self-guard. The only way to deal with my faults is to change myself instead of covering up.
Therefore, when dealing with lying children, we should set the example, and keep ourselves under control when we are in the middle of heated conversation with kids, so that they are not scared to tell the truth to us. If kids trust us and they are confident in our emotions, they will have a great foundation for building up their character.
