Three lessons that "terrible two" tantrums teach parents
Photo Canva.com, Unsplash, Mick Haupt
Christian Life
The terrible two are not a myth in mothering literature! Having experienced this stage with two children, I can say that they are real!
Stay up to date with Christian news in Europe? Sign up for CNE's newsletter.
After an early phase in which the infant is dependent on mom and dad in every way and wants to spend every hour of his or her life in your arms, almost every child goes through a growth phase around the age of two in which they begin to demand autonomy. Some children demand it more than others.
This can be confusing for parents. Some children do not seem to tolerate rules and want to be left to their own devices. For some, this need for autonomy manifests itself in endless tantrums and taking sides.
Explore
Choosing the colour of the dinner plate, expressing food preferences, playing by their own rules, breaking some small pattern of routine...
These are small things, but they may be the first major phase of change that parents have to deal with. It's easy to get discouraged, frustrated by the constant tantrums, and even sad because the little baby who was just in your arms until recently now wants to explore the world and do it his own way.
In my experience, it was difficult to deal with my first daughter's need to walk down the street by herself. She wanted to get out of the stroller and walk without holding hands with anyone.
When you live in a big city full of traffic, this is a dangerous choice for a two-year-old.
Puppets
At that time, the Lord taught me many things:
In motherhood, we always depend on Him. Even when you think you have found balance, the next growth spurt comes, and your children make new demands. You are never fully prepared. You must rely on the Lord to guide you through each stage.
Our job as parents is indeed to empower our children. We do not own our children, and we cannot control them like puppets. Our children are independent people with their own personalities and characteristics. Our job is to show them a way to grow and learn about God in their lives.
Our job is also to teach them about dependence. While we ensure that they grow up to be autonomous adults by giving in to their desire to express their personalities, giving in to every whim or demand will not make them mature adults. As parents, our job is to teach them to live out their personalities within the context of the rules of family, church, and society. We have a divine mandate to teach them empathy, respect for rules, and, above all, dependence on God.
My daughter, who is almost five years old now, constantly asks me to give her a hand on the street because she has learned that her autonomy does not lie in walking alone in traffic and that it is good to rely on her parents.
While I hope the second one will be able to let me guide her on the road again, I pray that I can be a mom who teaches them to thrive as autonomous people while totally dependent on their Saviour.
Related Articles
