How Christian families succeed through failure
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Christian Life
Learning through failure is hard, but it can be a valuable lesson to teach our children, Anna writes in this edition's Concerning Kids.
Some kids were crying, some were fighting, and my team froze while I was frantically thinking about what to do. It was supposed to be a great Christmas outreach for kids. We danced, played games, and we planned to share stories about God’s love with the kids.
However, after the games were over and the winners received their prizes, the mood in the meeting hall suddenly changed. Other kids started to ask for prizes, too, while some started to cry. I also saw the start of two fights as the kids grabbed the prizes from each other. How was I supposed to share God’s love when it was such a mess?
The world does not like losers. Society does not care when you become fourth during the Olympics because the cameras focus only on the first three. We all strive to become better and react negatively when we lose. I already know who cannot lose when playing table games with my friends. Even adults can spoil the evening for everybody if they lose the game.
Losing as a lesson
Losing can be a profoundly uncomfortable experience for many people, often because it challenges their sense of self-worth and competence. We are naturally driven by the desire to achieve, compete, and be recognised. When we lose, especially when we invest time, energy, or pride, it can feel like a personal setback.
Life is not a bed of roses. Bad and unpleasant realities, as well as good outcomes and achievements, will all happen in our lives. The earlier the kids learn how to deal with failure, the sooner they will know how to overcome loss, get up, and continue walking.
We should talk more about failures and teach that our self-worth is rooted in our identity in Christ, not in our achievements. We are loved by God and by those who are close despite our failures or achievements. The atmosphere at home is crucial, as parents are the first example of how to react when you fail.
Cooking
My cousin hates cooking as she does not want to fail. In her childhood, whenever she tried to help around the kitchen, her mother always corrected her, and my cousin never learned that she could do it the right way. Her father laughed and said that she was just wasting the ingredients. Those experiences taught my cousin that not cooking is a better idea because she would not waste food. However, now, she is stressed each time she is asked to cook.
We should learn how to deal with failure and accept it without self-destruction. We should celebrate the success of others and teach kids to appreciate their friends who won that time. We should understand more and talk more about our inner person and identity in God instead of identifying as winners or losers.
That Christmas outreach for kids was painful for me as I failed, and I ended up with a bunch of crying kids. However, I learnt my lesson and the following outreach was planned and conducted better. “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again”. (Proverbs 24:16)
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