Joe-Lize's comment – Stay-at-home moms must be careful for a hidden fulltime job

A mother looking at her phone while looking after her child. Photo iStock

Some women are ‘only’ housewife. They do not have another job, contrary to most others in society. Yet, they need to be careful to not become a fulltime influencer on social media.

A few decades ago, moms stayed at home and took care of the kids while dads went to work and earned money for their families. Nowadays, the majority of mothers have a job outside the home as well. Only a few are full-time 'stay-at-home' moms.

However, these women are not old-fashioned. Many of them have social media and know very well how to use it. When I open my Instagram feed, I am regularly flooded with baby pictures. Or with videos of moms baking bread. Or with stories of women who proudly tell how happy they are to serve their husbands by managing their households perfectly.

Their posts are tagged with the hashtag #tradwife. The abbreviation stands for traditional wife. The trend is a reaction to the dominant opinion that propagates gender equality, both in the workplace and at home. Whereas society seems to push for more women in the workplace and stimulates men to take up more household duties, the trad wives find their happiness in managing their household, taking care of their children and serving their husbands. Furthermore, they believe that their place as a woman is in the home, not in the office.


So far, I can follow them. After the fall, God explicitly commanded the woman to bear children and multiply humanity. Men did not get this assignment. Instead, they were to work in the sweat of their face, as Genesis 3 reads.

God designed a female so beautifully to take care of her children. A woman carries her baby for nine months, and after its birth, she seems to grow an extra antenna to tune into the needs of her newborn.

In today's society, this notion seems to be lost to many people. A job outside the home is seen as much more valuable than the work inside the house. This opinion becomes visible in the fact that many women work full-time, also when they have children. Kids are dropped off at the daycare, and mom and dad will pick them up again at the end of the day on the way home from the office where they work.

Sometimes, I get this feeling that money and self-development are seen as more important values than family life. Children are seen more and more as a burden instead of a blessing. And the idea of staying at home full-time to take care of them horrifies many women.

Full-time job

Personally, I strongly believe that family ought to be prioritised over work. A job should never be carried out at the expense of children or one's spouse. Also, I do not believe it is healthy for children to see mom and dad only for a few hours after six and during the weekends. After all, managing a family well takes just as much time as a full-time job.

But prioritising the family is not only the task of women. The same applies to men, who should be there for their children and wife. It is not without reason that God called men to be the priest in their families. They are to bring up their children close to the Bible and teach them morals and values. They are to be their example and support, and this is impossible if dads come home after their children have gone to bed already.

For that reason, I believe that it is good that fathers spend more time with their children. And this can also be achieved by working a day less and staying at home. And I do not think there is anything wrong with their wife working in the office during that time. And sometimes, a woman flourishes more when she can leave her family to her husband once in a while. In some cases, it even enables her to be a better mom because she feels happier.

Role pattern

One could argue that women were explicitly tasked with taking care of their families and that they, in particular, are the ones that should stay home for their children. And certainly, if husband and wife agree this works good for them, this role pattern should be encouraged.

However, sometimes it seems to me as if #tradwives have more time in a day than I do. They have a full-time job running their family and household and also seem to have enough empty spaces in their schedule to make perfect pictures and videos to share with the world.

But, even though women are said to be able to multitask, I don't think hanging out on social media and creating real quality time with children go together very well. As long as the mom is focused on her phone screen, she does not look after her children. And if mom is creating a video, bawling or fighting children may ruin the perfect shot.

Picture-perfect parents

Therefore, I think that women, whether they are working outside the house or being a #tradwife, should pay careful attention as to whether managing their social media accounts does not become an alternative full-time job that interferes with their ability to be there for their children.

After all, God does not call us to be picture-perfect parents but to bring up children close to His Word. And to be honest, what would we rather have our children remember about their youth? The perfect house they grew up in? Or the happy memories that they created with mom and dad?

Joe-Lize Kruijsse-Brugge (1999) has been working as a journalist since 2020.

Joe-Lize Kruijsse-Brugge

She started her career with the Dutch daily Reformatorisch Dagblad as a reporter on domestic affairs. Before that, she studied Liberal Arts and Sciences at Utrecht University.

Since 2021, she has worked as an editor for CNE.news.

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